《今天我不愿面对自己》人类，你的躲避只能让你孤独，面对自己是成长的必经之路

A provocation with despair. A writing like committing a crime.

One important image is the cherry pit. It first appears in the middle, when the narrator writes about her father-in-laws sexual harassment. He takes a cherry soaked in liquor, "stuff[s] it into his mouth, and suck[s] the red juice off with his index finger," then "he sucks on the cherry pit, his hand pressing down hard on my waist until I feel something hard in his pants." The cherry represents women, female lips, an intoxicating allure thats easy to attack. After swallowing the fresh fruit, he continues to suck on the juice and the hard object. The second appearance is at the end, when the narrator writes about a woman eating cherries on the train. "I think she could easily spit the pits out onto the ground, or let them quietly drop to the ground without disturbing me." One time a man eats a cherry, the other time a woman, the latter without the metaphor. So the narrator is able to make a joke at her own expense. Jokes are only funny when the balance of power is equal or upward.

Herta Müllers words make one feel like suicide when even a gun is too heavy. One can eat many cherries at once, resulting in a full bag of cherry pits, blood-colored remains, kitchen waste. When birds eat cherries and poop out the pits, they scatter them somewhere unknown. The hope is that we dont forget that they are seeds; the desperation is that they need to go through a cycle of filth to have a possibility of growth.