人间失格笔记：揭示人生矛盾的经典之作

Chapter 1: The author grew up being frail and sickly, but he read many books and possessed a natural sensitivity and observational skill. Living in a somber family environment, he became a people-pleaser.

His father was a patriarchal figure who received no emotional support, causing him to keep quiet about being sexually violated by a servant, as he saw through the hypocrisy and absurdity of humanity, leading to his distrust in others.

Chapter 2: Due to frequent illness as a child which resulted in missing out on socialization, the author developed social anxiety. His observational skill enhanced his understanding of human nature but his people-pleasing personality made it hard for him to decline others.

He viewed his peers as idiots yet depended on them to overcome his social anxiety. To him, prostitutes were neither women nor humans, but resembled idiots or mad people instead, and he realized that they had no desire despite using their bodies for survival.

The author was a paradoxical creature, finding contempt in others yet depending on them. He also acted this way towards prostitutes and his peers.

Despite disliking people, he could not avoid them, as he scorned his hometown, yet relied on its economic support.

Chapter 3: The story of the double suicide with Chaozi was actually just two disillusioned, lonely people who wanted to end their suffering, but ended up failing. As a result, the author lost reputation and his financial support, and became a mistress to another woman.

However, the author was not a grateful person. Instead, he mocked human hypocrisy while being just as fake himself.

Relying on Jingzi became his priority, and he believed that money was more important than women. He knew that he would eventually leave Jingzi and strive to live independently.