《8 Rules of Love》爱的八条法则：摘录精华

Four Ashrams: 1. Preparing for love. 2. Practicing love. 3. Protecting love. 4. Perfecting love.

Solitude helps you recognize that there is a you before, a you during, and a you after every relationship, forging your own way even when you have company and love.

Weve been trained to look for our "better half" or someone to "complete us". Does that make us the worse half? Does it mean were incomplete without a partner?

You want to go on a journey with someone, not to make them your journey.

How you handle your differences is more important than finding your similarities.

A guru offers guidance without judgement, wisdom without ego, love without expectation.

Assess whether your partner is someone you can learn and grow with: 1. Do they like learning about themselves? If someone isnt curious about learning about themselves, they may struggle to learn about you. If someone has a passion for growing, theyll help you grow. Do they like to try new things? Are they self-aware? Are they open to therapy or coaching or other ways of self-development? Do they like having conversations about how they make decisions or choices? 2. Do they understand their own emotions? Is your partner good at understanding and expressing their emotions? Do they talk about their day on a superficial level only, or do they share emotions in a real way? When they tell a story, is their emotional state part of it? 3. Do they try to understand you? Are they curious about you? Self-awareness often but not always leads to curiosity about others. Do they use their emotional skills to better understand you? If they havent gotten to a place where they can expand their radius of care and love, it means they are still in Brahmacharya. They are still a student of themselves and not ready to learn with you. 4. Can they entertain themselves? Its easier to learn with another person if they love solitude. It means they have their own journey and their own path, which allows you to travel your own path beside them. 5. Are they open to finding new ways of solving problems? For example, if theyre having trouble with a colleague, do they talk to you or a friend about it? Are they willing to talk to the colleague, to propose a compromise, or to shift gears by asking the person out to lunch? Learning and growing means having the determination and flexibility to address issues from new angles. That inclination is transferrable to relationships. 6. Do they support others in their growth? Look to see if they make the effort to support a friend, a sibling, or a mentee. Is helping others a part of their life? This shows you that they can extend their radius of love and care as is necessary in Grhastha. 7. Do they inspire you to be better and more? A partner can make you feel ambitious, not to impress them but because they believe in your abilities and give you the confidence to follow your interests and inclinations.

Wanting to help our partner should not be confused with wanting to control our partner.

"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." - David Viscott

Your purpose has to come first to you, and your partners purpose has to come first for them.

Fight the issue together instead of fighting each other. Five steps can help you find PEACE: 1. Place and time. 2. Expression. 3. Anger management. 4. Commitment. 5. Evolution.

High vs. Low vibrations: 1. Low: Connecting with your partner by gossiping about a friend. 2. Medium: Connecting with your partner by sharing to-do lists. 3. High: Connecting with your partner by discovering a shared hobby.

When you accomplish something new together, you bring that experience to all areas of your life.

Path to elevation: Intolerable -> Tolerable -> Understanding -> Acceptance -> Appreciation.

Lets examine the recent past of your relationship to gain some insights that will prepare you for future relationships: Reflect on what you gained. Reflect on what you lost. Reflect on your own shortcomings. Ask yourself: What did I learn about myself in this relationship?

We are connected, and when we serve others, we are serving ourselves.

Instead of expecting love, we have to find ways of expressing love.

Youve been a student of love, and now youre a steward of love.

You can seek love your whole life and never find it, or you can give love your whole life and experience joy.