《暮色将尽》日暮西山：一天的结束，另一天的开始

The author of this book is a renowned book editor who has never gotten married nor had children. At the age of 89, she wrote this autobiographical book to document and reflect on the process of life deterioration.

I am curious about what I will face in the future as someone who is likely to remain single and childless. I have heard many voices that say being alone is not a problem when you are still young, but as your body deteriorates, you will regret it one day. I can imagine myself one day, with aching back and legs, struggling to go to the supermarket to buy milk in the rain, and wondering why I didnt listen to my mothers advice. But if I change my current lifestyle just for the sake of this possible scenario, it seems absurd. Most people who give me such advice are those who are already married, so I am curious about the experiences of women who have lived their old age alone. This book is one answer, but I know it is just one of many answers, and survivors bias may make it seem less difficult than it really is.

The book is a mix of Chinese and English, and because of the authors different era, culture, and personality, I only had a vague feeling after reading some paragraphs, such as the part about sex and companion in the opening, and details about authors interests. I feel that the author is a confident and extroverted independent woman with many friends, but I vaguely feel that I may become an insecure and introverted old lady living alone and lonely, so the experiences and states of mind that I can learn may be limited. However, the author writes that she was originally a person with low self-esteem, but after she got older, she was less concerned about what others thought of her. I wonder if I can also gradually become more cheerful and open-minded and let go of those unimportant thoughts in the future.

Below are some points that I resonated with after reading:

After her mother passed away, the author wrote a poem, and I was inexplicably moved by the ending of the poem. She said her mother was already very weak and woke up from sleep, tilting her head and asking if she remembered talking about asking the neighbor to drive her to buy eucalyptus trees. The author replied that she had mentioned it, and the scenery along the way was beautiful. Her mother responded vaguely, "especially beautiful," and then fell into a deep sleep and never woke up. I find it particularly touching and hope that when I am about to leave, I can have a beautiful and ordinary memory flash through my mind, and then leave easily without any regrets. I know this kind of luck cannot be sought.

The old lady wrote that her hobbies brought her a lot of joy in her old age, including gardening, reading, drawing, and writing. I deeply agree with this. People who can find their own interests and hobbies and have the time and resources to stick to them are fortunate. I like yoga, tennis, watching movies, and recently, climbing walls... I used to enjoy playing water sports, although not good at them, but I still had fun. In some difficult days, these trivial things helped me get through them. Actually, I also like what I am doing now, but since it has become the default daily routine, it may not be considered a hobby anymore.

The old lady said that she discovered her ability to write when she was very old and had never thought she could write novels. When she tried to write before, she found it painful, but as time accumulated, many stories flowed naturally from her pen. Writing itself seems to be a kind of healing. I resonate with this to some extent. When I have the desire to express myself, writing something is effortless, pleasant, and something to look forward to. Conversely, if I have to write something, it can be torture. I like to write down my feelings in an unorganized way, but the assigned essays in childhood